Mum was the first of our family to become a believer. Over the next couple of years, we kids each made faith commitments. It took Dad another year or two. This is my family’s story, which, according to research by Thom Rainer, is an example of the most common pattern for unchurched families coming to faith.
This pattern, combined with earlier research by Starke and Finke, helps us understand why ministry to families with young children—especially preschoolers—is one of the most fruitful areas of mission focus for local churches.
80% of local churches identify families with little kids as a primary mission focus.
Based on my work over the past 25 years with a couple of hundred churches, I estimate around 80% of local churches identify families with little kids as a primary mission focus. Nowadays it’s unusual for find a church that’s not running a playgroup, mainly music or similar. For some churches, these programs form the centerpiece of a fruitful mission pathway. For others, it’s a lot of effort just to provide a community service. How do we understand the difference? Let’s dive into the research.
In their groundbreaking work on the sociology of religion, Rodney Stark and Roger Finke found that religious conversion is most likely to occur in a context where a person has made a geographical move and has experienced a change in their social position: new place, new friends.
In the Western world there are a couple of life stages where these changes are common. In the US and UK, young adults leave home to go to university—a change in location and social position all in one go. It’s why ministry to university students is particularly fruitful in these nations.
In Australia, young people have more diverse patterns of transition to independent adulthood. But it tends to become a little more homogeneous when it comes to starting a family: buy a house, settle in and try for kids.
A new mom is likely to be relatively new to her neighborhood, and is likely to take some extended time out of her career, or significantly shape her work around raising kids. While men are increasingly taking a little time out too, the bigger disruption is overwhelmingly experienced by women. New location, new social position.
Parenthood can be both daunting and isolating.
Parenthood can be both daunting and isolating. Where a woman may have been a competent and confident professional pre-kids, parenthood throws her into a new, exhausting world of endless demands from a completely unreasonable being whose welfare is now her primary focus.
Social media unhelpfully provides a torrent of conflicting, often baseless advice while flashing images of apparent super-moms doing it all with poise, confidence, and artistic flair.
Where she once had daily interaction with workplace peers, a new mom finds herself spending big chunks of time alone with her kid(s). While financial necessity and the intention to maintain a career pull women back into the workforce with increasing speed, parenthood often means that return is shaped around parenting responsibilities.
Survival instincts tend to make women natural networkers, so a nearby group made up of other women experiencing the same challenges represents an oasis of understanding and support.
Find acceptance and a sense of belonging.
If a woman joining a new mom’s group or similar can find acceptance and a sense of belonging, the research suggests she’s likely to become curious about that group’s spirituality. A significant factor in developing such curiosity is forming solid friendships with people whose spiritual lives seem compelling. It can generate an “I’ll have what she’s having” type of positive openness. And if mom makes a faith commitment, it’s not unusual for the kids and then dad to follow.
That’s not to say that the quality of a child’s experience of these groups is unimportant. A safe, welcoming and enjoyable experience for the child is absolutely prerequisite. But it’s not the determining factor between effective and ineffective kids ministry when it comes to making new disciples.
Consider how can you and your church can better reach out to families by providing for their felt needs as pivotal times in their lives.
Originally published by Pathways 4 Mission. Republished with permission.
Ken Morgan has worked as a consultant, trainer and coach to church planters, church ministers and denominational leaders in a wide variety of traditions across Australia and beyond since 1998. He’s currently the Head of Parish Mission Resourcing for the Anglican Diocese of Melbourne. A graduate of Tabor College and Victoria University, He makes his home in Melbourne. Ken is author of "Pathways: Local Mission for All Kinds of Churches" and "Like A Boss: the Process and Privilege of Supervising People".
